negative_feedback | (no subject)

September 15, 2020

Regan's tagged in a video on Suddengram, but she doesn't get to look at it until she's taking the city bus from the school towards the countryside. Even then, she doesn't know why, because at first it's just a wild video of the sidewalk and a cluster of backs and heads. Then the frame settles on two people, two women, looking like they're having an argument. Regan still doesn't know why she was tagged.

Until the camera zooms in, and she sees Greta. She frowns, sitting up in her seat to curl over her screen. She can't hear anything, and the captioning on the video suggests that the phone being used is too far away to catch anything important, anyway.

And then the other woman, who Regan recognizes now as Anne, the lady who's been hanging around Greta a lot, lunges in for a kiss. Regan's eyes go wide. She expects Greta to rear back and slap her, but instead she just, just leans back in for another kiss.

What the hell.

Regan watches the video until the end, when the onlooker decides nothing else interesting is going to happen because Greta and Anne are walking away, now, hand in hand. She stares at the video as it cycles back around to the beginning, but she's not really registering it, this time.

The bus rolls to a stop, and someone taps Regan's shoulder. She looks up, turns off her phone screen, and grabs her things to hurry off the bus.

Okay, so... Greta's... gay now? Which is... fine. Regan's long since given up on the idea that someone who looks like her dad will appear and sweep Greta off her feet. In fact, that would probably be worse, at this point. But for some reason, seeing her guardian, her aunt, pretty much, kissing a woman — a woman like Anne, who's as much wild animal as she is person — is sitting weirdly with her. Regan can't help but think that Greta deserves better. Anne's a literal pirate, hard and angry and mistrustful. Greta deserves someone kind and warm, who will take care of her so she doesn't have to work so hard. Is that Anne? Does Greta see something that Regan just hasn't, this whole time?

There's a lot to unpack. Regan has a lot of questions — including 'Am I jealous?' and 'Am I surprised?' — and she's not sure of most of the answers. As she nears the cottage, she debates turning right around and going to Richie's, instead. She's not sure she's ready to actually talk to Greta about this stuff, and also, what if Anne's still there? That'll be... so awkward.

But at this point, she can see the cottage, which means that if anyone's looking out the window, they've already seen her. Turning around would make it really, really obvious that something is bothering her, and putting it off would just be rude to everyone involved. Right?

Wincing, Regan braces herself and finishes her walk home.

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Greta nods, humming quietly to herself. Anne and Regan haven't overlapped much, and Anne's never exactly been gregarious, even without a language barrier to contend with. It's never been something Greta pushed, in no small part because... well, not because it was irrelevant, but because she'd never thought of what they were doing as—as courting. She hadn't had an eye towards making Anne part of the bloody family. She never would've presumed Anne wanted that; she still isn't sure Anne wants that sort of thing now.

But whatever they're doing, however it might be defined, it's fair for Regan to want some reassurance that it's not going to be a disaster.

"She's not bad," Greta agrees with a wry smile. "And I don't think she'll hurt me." Not as readily or as callously as the city might, anyway. In her experience, that's what pries relationships apart. "It might take us a little time to find our feet, but... I think that's okay." She gives Regan an inquiring look, hoping she might agree.

Regan nods slowly. She wants to believe that Greta's right. She wants to believe that Anne won't suddenly turn against her — against them — and and leave Greta heartbroken, with Saoirse and Regan there to pick up the pieces. And that's not how it happened with Thomas, by any stretch, but it's the worry she still has.

"I guess, yeah," she agrees, still keeping to softer, uncertain language. Like she's afraid of committing to one decision or another, in case it goes south. And maybe that's exactly what she's afraid of. Anne, to Regan, is an outlier, an unknown, and trusting her in any capacity, but especially with Greta's happiness, is scary. But if Greta trusts her, then maybe Regan can, too.

Regan still seems uncertain, but it's not like Greta can blame her, really. A small part of her is almost grateful that this has come as a shock to someone else, and that she isn't just uniquely dense herself.

"If it helps," she says, a bit hesitant out of lingering embarrassment, "I think Anne has wanted to be with me for a long time." Never mind when Anne clocked Greta's feelings, which she failed to even recognize before today. "She's been very... patient with me."

That has Regan lifting her eyebrows a little. "She... waited for you?" Regan hadn't really noticed Anne's feelings (or Greta's for Anne's). To her, they'd been friends, even if she didn't understand why. But if Anne's liked her for this long, and was just... patiently waiting for Greta to figure it out, then...

Then maybe she really isn't so bad after all. Maybe she's good for Greta.

Maybe she could be good for the family.

"She did," Greta says. She still feels a bit foolish over it, despite the fact that Regan, too, was apparently none the wiser. But she knows that once she's worn through her embarrassment, she'll just find it touching. That Anne cared enough to be patient, even if some of her caution — the implications tucked beneath her accusatory 'I don't belong with you' and 'you shouldn't want to be around me' — was needless.

"I know you haven't spent much time with her," she adds, something that now feels like far more of an oversight than it used to, "but I think you might like her, if you got to know her better." She watches Regan, her expression cautiously hopeful.

She wants to point out that Anne doesn't know ASL, but that's a weak excuse that she doesn't even have a reason to cling to anymore. She nods, with a small smile that suggests she isn't sure how she feels about it, but she's willing to try it, for Greta's sake.

"Do you think she's picked up any ASL from you and Saoirse?" she asks. She assumes she hasn't, but maybe Greta actually knows whether she has, and if she has, then that's something they can work with.

"I'd be surprised if she hadn't," Greta replies after giving it a moment's thought. There haven't been any focused lessons, but when Anne and Regan are both present, Greta tends to talk while she signs. It just seemed more polite that way, like they weren't going over Anne's head on purpose. And Anne's observant; it would shock her more if she hadn't picked up on anything, even by accident.

"Though I'm sure you're the better teacher," she adds, leaning over to give Regan a light, fond bump with her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes with faux-annoyance. "I've had some practice," she points out. Greta, Saoirse, her friends, her boyfriend. Regan helped or taught them all Sign in some capacity. Saoirse's favorite TV show helped her, but it wasn't the primary source of her learning.

"Do you think she'd want to learn?" she asks now.